Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Dirty floors!

Lily looks up at me "Mommy, the floor is dirty!" (I was proud and concerned at the same time)

"Yes lily, it is dirty, it needs to get swept!"

"Mommy gonna do it?"

"No Mommy can't do it, I can't sweep when my foot hurts like this."

"Yes you can!, I help"

She ran in the kitchen and came back with the broom and dust pan. " I'll do this mommy," she gave me the broom and she held the dust pan to the floor." The look on her face was awesome, I could tell she really wanted to help, and this was important to her.

"I don't know honey, I can only use one leg, this is going to be hard." I was really thinking, my foot hurt so bad I just wanted to sit and not risk bumping it again. But I also didn't want to disappoint my determined little girl.

"You can mommy, be careful." her little eyes shown with great concern as I started the task at hand.

We did what we could, certainly not a spick and span, but at least the piles of dirt were gone. (left from my husband's boots this morning)

I was almost in tears when we were done. Not because of the pain, but because of the kindness my almost three year old was showing, and how much she is growing up. I have seen her in a new light these past couple of days.

My heavenly father has the same desire to help me with my tasks at hand. I have to step out in faith, no matter how much it hurts. He wants to see me succeed, help me sweep up the mess I make of my life sometimes. He doesn't expect me to do the hard things by myself, he's right there beside me, cheering me on, holding me up and watching out for my best interests.
He carries me, when I don't think I can do it anymore!

A tale of a purple foot!

I'm sitting in a place that I do not want to be in, I'm sitting next to the man I love beyond words, I'm sitting across from these people who, if I was a judgmental person, I would be afraid of. I am feeling this incredible physical pain, I can hardly breathe. I'm thinking, "Its broken, for sure, I'm going to be in a cast for 6 weeks, my summer is ruined, how am I ever going to care for my girls, why this now?".

An hour goes by, and the nurse calls us in, she takes one look at it and says "Whoa, that looks like it hurts!" When she touched it, I wanted to smack her. The look on her face said it all, (I'm a mind reader, of course) I knew she was thinking it was broken for sure.

She took me to my room, Jeremy fell asleep and I just festered, and fretted, and got myself so worked up. I was believing my story, I was planning my funeral in my head (no quite, but you get the idea), my summer was over. My plans were ruined, I was going to loose my leg and be on crutches for the rest of my life.

I'm not even kidding this stuff was going through my head. My constant prayer was "Lord, I just want to keep my foot."

Just to clarify, I wasn't in danger of loosing my foot. It was three times the size it should be and it looked like I had spilled grape juice all over it. My husband, and I were putting kayaks away, after a fun afternoon with friends and our girls, and he proceeded to drop one of them on my foot. Hence, the over reaction and imaginative thinking.

In a nut shell I was feeling sorry for myself. Be careful what you pray for though, I've heard people say this, and I believed it and lived through it, but I don't think about this stuff until after the fact. 

Two hours later the doctor came in, "nothings broken, Yah!"

What! I wasn't loosing my foot? I wasn't going to be in a cast for 6 weeks? Then get it off only to find out it didn't heal right and then have it on for another 8 weeks? I wasn't going to die of boredom and gain 100 pounds sitting on my butt?

I did say one good thing since all this happened, "Praise the Lord!" I said, getting a nod from the doctor.

"It will be real sore for awhile yet, I'd stay off it completely for a few days, use the crutches until it feels good enough to put pressure on it. I imagine in a week you'll start to feel more comfortable."

I kid you not I think the smile on my face was so big my cheeks were going to burst. I was so excited I wanted to jump for joy (on one foot of course). I can handle one week.

Bible says, don't worry about tomorrow, today has enough of it's own worries. 

I was so concerned about what I was going to do with my broken foot, I never took any pain killers for my bruised foot. God is constantly reminding me to live for the moment. It's not bad to plan ahead, but I can't loose site of what is right in front of me. Here and now, "take it one step at a time", My husband always says.
"...We are a vapor, you are eternal..."
Words to a song that is on my mind a lot. We are a vapor in the span of time, our children are young and impressionable for only a fraction of a vapor.  What matters is this day, this hour and this moment right now!