Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Twenty twenty vision

I was searching through one of my many cook books and came across a wonderful, meaningful quote, I would like to share

"If God brings you to it, he'll bring you through it. He'll either lighten your load or strengthen your back!"

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Stay still

She is just wiggling and squirming. She smells so horrible and I desperately need to change her.

Friday, April 20, 2012

The choice!

I knew it was going to be a struggle. I knew the conversation was going to go where I didn't want it to go. No matter how hard I tried to control it, those who I cared about so much, were ripping open my not so healed wounds. I had a choice, I could wallow in my own self pity and have myself a horrible time; or I could put a smile on and pray though the evening, being careful not to let my face show the deep pain I was feeling.

Thursday, April 19, 2012


As I'm lying in bed, I'm thinking... "time to start my day, time to get up before the girls..."

I feel I've been going through a valley recently, so something simple as getting out of bed is really hard. My thoughts wander and my quiet time is diminishing. It's amazing to me how difficult and crippling some situations can be. Some things just consume my thoughts and its a constant struggle to keep my head clear of those awful things.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Finding significance Part 2

Once again I find myself wondering, what it is God has for me? What is my purpose? Where can I find my significance?

I wake up grumpy thinking, what is it today? What are they going to fight over? Am I going to get any of my house work done? Am I going to have any time for myself?

Monday, April 9, 2012

A tug on my fraile heart!

I had so much to say.... so much to vent..... but everything I was saying was being taken the wrong way. I was being misunderstood no matter what I said.

Friday, April 6, 2012

Love beyond my wildest dreams

With Good Friday on my mind, all I can think about is Love.

 Do I really know what love means? Do I have the right to say that I love?

Daddy, Daddy!!

Hearing my daughter call "daddy.... daddy.....Hey..... daddy."
She has so many questions, so many little tidbits and comments. He is so patient with her, answering her questions, includes her, talks to her, affirms her.

Typical two year old, we have the why's, the whats? and defiantly the No!'s.  She asks the same questions over and over again after we've already answered her.

Now, I am naturally an impatient person. If I have to tell her more than once, my insides get all knotted up.

I am so grateful my heavenly father is not like me. He is patient. He sits and waits for me to come to him. It doesn't matter how many times I ask him, he answers. It doesn't matter how long it takes me to get it, if I seek him, he will be patient. He affirms me, and talks sweet to me. All he asks for in return, is faith in him and the willingness to follow after him.

"Cast all your cares upon me......."

Monday, April 2, 2012

There is always more steps to be taken!!

I've given up coaxing her to walk, sure she takes a few steps, but only to come to me. She really doesn't venture out much. Seems to me, my daughter can walk just fine, she has pretty decent balance. However, I do believe she simply lacks the courage.

She has all the tools she needs. Sturdy legs, the desire of her heart, examples to follow all around her, and the knowledge of putting one foot in front of the other. She does however, lack the courage to let go.

I know she will wake up one morning and decide, today is the day. That is what free will is all about after all. We have the ability to decide what, where and when we will do what we want. God has given us that right, with certain responsibilities of course.

Another lesson in God equipping his people. God has given me everything I need to accomplish all he has in store for me. I don't believe I know what that all entails, however I also know that I can never stop seeking after what God has in mind for me. Growing in the lord should be a constant in our life. There is always more to learn, more steps to be taken.

"Later Jesus appeared to the eleven as they were eating; he rebuked them for their lack of faith and their stubborn refusal to believe those who had seen him after he had risen. He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation. Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned. And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak  in new tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on the sick people, and they will get well." Mark 16: 14-18

 He makes it clear I must go. I believe "the world" is different for everyone, but we must not be silent. God has given us the knowledge and the tools to follow through with what he asks. When god reveals his plans to me, I must step out and have faith that God is with me. 

 I must have the courage to step away from my comfort zone, and use the knowledge he has bestowed upon me.