Friday, June 29, 2012

A prisoner of sadness and pain

It's truly amazing to me how I can go most days living somewhat content with where God has me, and in a moments time all that seems like a distant memory. In a split second of time my mind is focused on all the pain and sadness. All in one instant I'm a selfish pile of slump, barely putting one foot in front of the other.

It is in these times I am so grateful for a God who cares. I am so thankful God has imbedded inside of me the desire to seek him in these hard times. I wish I had more faith and sought him immediately, but I suppose I'm a working progress in that respect.

I sat and prayed that what ever I read I could find some kind of comfort.

"So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me his prisoner. But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God,
who has saved us and called us to a holy life- not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time,
but it has now been revealed through the appearing of our savior, Christ Jesus, who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel.
And of this gospel I was appointed a herald and an apostle and a teacher.
That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day."
2 Timothy 1: 8-12

So what is it that I have entrusted to him?

Forgive me Lord, for I have not entrusted my entire being to you this day. I let my sadness cloud my thoughts!

I don't know why I feel what I feel, I don't know why days have to be so hard. But I know God is bigger, and I don't have to rise above the pile of slump all by myself. I have a God I can trust in. A God who sees my pain and feels it before I do.