I knew it was going to be a struggle. I knew the conversation was going to go where I didn't want it to go. No matter how hard I tried to control it, those who I cared about so much, were ripping open my not so healed wounds. I had a choice, I could wallow in my own self pity and have myself a horrible time; or I could put a smile on and pray though the evening, being careful not to let my face show the deep pain I was feeling.