Monday, June 11, 2012

It's a long road!

"You lift me up when I am weak
Your arms wrap around me
Your love catches me so I’m letting go
You lift me up when I can’t see
Your heart is all that I need
Your love carries me so I’m letting go"

Words to a song radiating through my radio. The same radio that hardly picks up any stations, and both the volume and the tuner knobs are ripped off (one of them is actually chewed off by my youngest).

You might say I had this tragic thing happen to me. I've had a bum foot for three weeks now, and was told by the doctor I have a long road ahead of me. Even more tragic than that, I let myself get depressed about my situation. I was feeling so tired...

Tired of the crutches...
Tired of the pain...
Tired physically, getting no sleep at night...
Tired of looking at my dirty house...
Tired of feeling helpless...
Tired of feeling like a burden to my husband...
Tired of sending my children away...

I let the enemy come into my heart and tell me all these lies

"Your helpless,"
"You're a burden to everyone around you,"
"Your husband does not want to help you,"
"You have no one,"
"Your foot is always going to hurt,"

All lies straight from the pit. This was another test that I had failed. Was I going to give it all to him? Was I ready to let go of the plans I had for this summer?

I had dreams of what our summer would be and none of them consisted of me being laid up on the couch. I failed to let God be the ThE TrUe ARtisT of my summer.

So here I sit so wrapped up in this song that is telling me to Just Let Go.

Listen to those things around you, God is in it all, and he wants to speak to us, after all Father knows best!

I think it's time to listen to my own words. I've stopped writing recently, and I feel like I'm loosing a part of me. God has given me a new zest, bear with me as I put the pieces back together.