Funny how things seem to work out, I would like to think I have something to do with it, but I know its all God.
I had the opportunity to ride in the big rig with Jeremy for the first time in almost two years. The girls have been staying at my mother's on and off on account it is so hard for me to get around. I knew it would be difficult to ride in the rig, but I also knew I needed this time with my husband, we don't get the chance to be alone... ever.
Anyway, I rode around with him for several hours and we came across a few Amish Buggys in our travels around Lewis county. Well, Jeremy knew the horses could get spooked as we drove by them, so he slowed down and eased passed them, hoping it would keep them from bucking. He was right, I could tell from far off that she was nervous already, she must have heard us. She had blinders on so she couldn't see us until we were right next to her. As we eased by her, she kept trying to turn so she could keep her eye on us. I was amazed at how spooked she was, for a moment she had no trust in her master, no trust in her lead. All she could think about was this big scary looking thing that was passing her. I watched even after we were by her she was nervous. Almost like she couldn't shake us off, she couldn't stop think about how much we had scared her.
I think so many times I am that poor horse. I'm traveling along like nothing, letting my master lead me. Then out of no where I can sense something is about to happen. I start to worry and fret, not knowing what will come next. Then it happens, I'm right in the middle of a situation, not paying any mind to my master whispering in my ear
"It will be ok Sarah, I'm here, Let me lead you, keep going, you'll be ok, It will be over soon." All I can think about is what is right in front of me, and how scared I am of it. Even after it's gone, I'm still trying to see it, I know its there. I'm still afraid of it, and I'm still having a hard time completely trust in my master. I want to take things into my own hands.
God wants me to trust in him, in his lead, no matter what is passing me by. He has my back all the time, just like that man never let go if the reins on his horse. God never lets go.
I will never get to where he wants me to be if I don't trust him, and let him guide me no matter what passes me. If I'm constantly looking at those things that scare me, instead of what is really important, God can't use me.